Why Embracing Conflict is Key to Stronger Relationships
Jumping into tough conversations can feel daunting, but here’s the kicker—conflict isn’t the enemy; it can be a real relationship builder! Yep, you heard that right. According to authors Robert Bordone and Joel Salinas, navigating disagreements can actually strengthen your connections if you approach it with the right mindset.
Learn Instead of Win
In their insightful book, “Conflict Resilience: Negotiating Disagreement Without Giving Up or Giving In,” the duo argues that aiming to win an argument often strips the value from the conversation. Instead, try stepping into that uncomfortable space with a sense of curiosity rather than competitiveness. Bordone, a big name from Harvard’s negotiation program, emphasizes seeing conflict as an opportunity to understand the other person instead of just pushing your own agenda.
People skilled at handling disputes tend to look at conflict through a lens of growth rather than negativity. They know that not every disagreement can be resolved, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s more about fostering an understanding rather than just trying to score points.
Three Steps to Better Conversations
Want to up your game when navigating these tough talks? Here are three tips from psychologist Kurt Gray that can help:
- Get Curious: Ask questions about their perspective. Genuinely trying to understand their viewpoint can shift the whole dynamic.
- Validate Their Experience: Even if you don’t agree, acknowledging their feelings can go a long way. It shows you’re listening.
- Share Your Story: Be open and personal. Instead of throwing facts out there, connect on a human level by sharing why you hold your beliefs.
When both parties feel respected and understood, it creates a healthier dialogue. No one likes to walk away from a conversation feeling dismissed, right?
It’s All About Connection
Both Bordone and Salinas advocate for entering conversations without scripts and focusing on mutual understanding. It’s not about defeating the other side, but rather validating their concerns. After all, establishing that human connection makes a massive difference in how disagreements play out. Plus, you both leave feeling better, which is a win-win!
So next time you find yourself in a disagreement, remember: it’s not just about being right. Rather, it’s about building bridges and creating understanding. And hey, those could be some of the most important conversations you ever have!
